Are you a Sally or Gilly?

If you don’t know already, these are the two sisters that the book Practical Magic is focused on. In case you need a little summary or refresher, these two sisters couldn’t be more different on the outside. 

Sally grew up not wanting anything to do with love after seeing the extreme things it could make people do when townspeople came to her aunts for spells. Sally was naturally gifted in spell work as well as academics, but in adulthood found that all she wanted to do was have a normal life. Due to some unexpected meddling from her aunts, she does go on to marry and have children. Sally refuses magic and actually keeps it hidden from her children as long as she can. Sally has felt the sting of being rejected and labeled as a witch in childhood and as a parent in the same community, she wants nothing more than to be like everyone else, attend PTA meetings, and open a holistic boutique that seems an awful lot like her apothecary. 

Gilly on the other hand couldn’t wait to fall in love and left home young to do just that. Gilly spends her early adult years traveling, going through men, and living as a free spirit. While Gilly wasn’t as gifted in matters of spell work as her sister, she did embrace her magic and loved to use the gift. In appearance Gilly stood out and wasn’t afraid to be stared at or different. In fact she wasn’t afraid to say what everyone in a room was thinking either. 

Despite their differences these two sisters both shared the duality of dark and light in their personalities. It is also in duality that we find another common bond which is the feeling of being too much or too little. 

This Autumn I found myself wearing a green velvet blazer and more recently a pair of high heeled red boots I had owned for just a little over a year without wearing. The intention was not to wear them both at the same time, but they were two articles of clothing I had gotten to lean into wearing my identity as a witch on the outside. Why did they sit in my closet for over a year before I ever wore them?

What will they think? A question that we find ourselves asking about all manner of things, sometimes without even knowing. There it was, the answer. 

You see, depending on the season of life or even day for that matter, I can be a bit of a Sally or Gilly. It would surprise many who have known me for any measurable amount of time to even think I struggle with this. At times I have done nothing but draw attention to my appearance and actions, while also sinking into corners and hiding behind books.  

I want to be seen as a normal mom and I want to be accepted in my community. I also want to be an individual, educated, I love all things spooky or weird, and depending on my hair style you can see me rocking a neck tattoo. However, most days, I drove a mini van, volunteered at my kids school, could hide my piercings, would run around in yoga pants, and did a pretty good job of looking like everyone else. 

Recently this ideal has reared its  head in my professional life. How hokey being a business owner sounds, but let’s raise the bar and include that my work includes spirituality, tarot, astrology, herbalism, and more. Business and witchery, think of all the stories of fraud that involve those two words!  At times when I discuss my work, ego wants me to feel like a failure when I am in fact doing something most people spend their lives wishing they could do. I am using the skill set of my entire education, career, and life experience all to steer a ship that I know takes both tremendous courage and savvy to succeed in. I am heading my life calling, I should beam with pride, but it makes me feel different and so often I shrink in my light instead. 

My brand of spirituality and witchery actually has taken strong roots in herbalism and house magic. For the first several years that I was a bizwitch on the web, I talked about all things magical cleaning and often shared my garden and foraging practices. It felt safe, but it is also where I found my spirituality first take shape. I have grown into learning and now offering services as well as teaching so much more, but it took years for me to open myself up to others this way. I lean heavy into my inner scholar and skeptic to help people realize I am often just like them. 

While all valid, I can see ways where I have played it safe in the above description. We don’t go all in on life when we play it safe.

To many I don’t seem witch enough. I don’t subscribe to a specific faith, I don’t come off super dark and esoteric most days, or use buzzwords like psychic medium, and I don’t come off as some high vibing  enlightened energy worker either. Here I am, yet again, even amongst those who have chosen a different path, not feeling like I fit. 

For many, I will be seen as too witchy or not witchy enough. I won’t be for everyone and coming to peace about that has been the most freeing gift I could give myself. 

So I put on the jacket for a women in business meeting. One of my biggest goals is to share magic and dispel myths about the word witch, the best way I can do this is to show up as my authentic self within my community. 

I wore this jacket again to self host my first in person workshop right in the town I live. I met new people and saw some familiar faces who all at the end enjoyed the experience of gathering to learn in an accepting environment to people from all walks of life. People shared about their curiosity, family background, and exchanged contact information with one another.